How do you want to look?
Might seem like a vain question, but the first judgments others make about us are based on our outsides. Fair or not, it’s the way it is, and why we are worthy of always presenting our best selves.
I’ve spoken with women who think they’re “only” going to the grocery store or to school pick-up, or the “only” people they’ll see that day are their spouses/kids. But why don’t they deserve to see you pulled-together? Aren’t these the most important people in your life? And why don’t YOU deserve to love what you see in the mirror every day?
Look - I was raised by a Southern mother who insisted I “put on a little lipstick” every time I left the house. This is not that. And this is certainly not a guilt trip if you don’t see the value in putting on makeup every day, or if you’re in a season where fitting in a shower is a luxury. We’ve all been there. Simply put, and in the words of NFL star Dion Sanders,
Look good, feel good.
Feel good, play good.
Play good, they pay good.
My rule of thumb is to leave the house ready to a) take a selfie I’ll be proud of in case I bump into my favorite band, Hanson; b) be fierce and confident enough to run into a mean girl; and c) have my next client trust my makeup enough to want me to teach her how to do her own.
It’s not about putting pressure on ourselves to look a certain way, but feeling good so we can take on our day.
Now, my “best” self is a full smokey eye, with glitter, contour, faux lashes, and a nude, glossy lip. This is neither appropriate nor feasible for every day, but this is the look and feel from where my daily inspiration grew. Once you find your unique, favorite makeup look, you can take the elements of how it makes you FEEL and incorporate them into a more succinct routine. Because the end goal is always to FEEL good/confident/powerful/etc.
Here are three ways to start curating your own makeup style:
Search Your Stash
Sometimes what we think we like and what we actually like are two very different things. Take a look at you makeup and notice what you use the most. Eye shadow palettes are a great place to start - only use three of the 12 colors in the palette? How about your most-loved lipstick? Blush?
Now decide if you continue to gravitate to these items out of necessity and playing it safe, because they’re what you know, or if you really, truly love them. If the latter, you’re off to a good start. If the former, find the items that tickle your fancy and ask yourself why you don’t indulge every day?
For me, I adore a good contour. I don’t do it every day because it’s overkill and time-consuming, but I love the way it lifts my cheeks and slims my nose. So, I contour my nose most every day and apply my bronzer in a diagonal shape to give a very subtle contour.
Once you find your favorites, keep them off to the side or in a little bag. Either let go of the rest or, if you’re like me and hate waste, use the other items on more low-key days until they’re gone.
Mood Board
Now head to Pintrest, Instagram, your own photos, wherever you find inspiration, and pull images that speak to you. Here are some of mine:
Once your have your images, find what connects them. So for me…big hair, big boobs, smokey eye, nude lip, a little naughty. And that’s my signature look.
I’m not suggesting impropriety…like, if you’re in the military, you can’t wear glitter eye shadow every day. But you’re smart and you know what I mean.
Here’s a secret. I used to be self-conscious when walking into a room and realizing every other woman was just wearing mascara and lip gloss while I was in a full face. So I started to shrink and not execute my authentic makeup style - not that what I was wearing was over-the-top at all (and by some accounts, wasn’t much makeup), but it seemed like people were staring. Eventually I learned that if most 1. knew how to do their own makeup and 2. had the time to do it, they would.
I can understand feeling self-conscious if you go in with actual war paint (a cashier at my grocery store used to do that), but you can check yourself by going back to your feeling and understanding your motivation for doing your makeup a certain way. Ask:
“Am I trying to hide?” (No)
‘Will I be okay if I leave the house without makeup?” (Yes)
“Am I enhancing my features?” (Yes)
You get the idea.
Practice
You have your favorite makeup. You have your feeling. Now it’s time to put it on your face. And the only way you’ll know what you like and how to create it is to try. And try again. Remember your style will morph over time, so don’t get hung up on “perfection.”
Start slowly and try one thing at a time. Start with the issue you deal with most often. Under eye circles? Even skin? Getting your blush to last through the afternoon? Focus on that until you’re comfortable with the results then move on.
If you feel like you’re doing everything “right” but the look isn’t working out how you’d like, try different brushes (i.e. stiff versus fluffy), finishes (matte versus glowing) or techniques. And if it still isn’t giving you the feeling you want, you have my full permission to ditch it (not that my permission is important, but sometimes I just need someone to validate my decisions so I’m officially validating yours).
For me, it’s a red lip. I don’t like the way it looks on me even though I’m a Southern girl who “should” always have a red lipstick (or four) in my bag. I’ve tried all the things. Still hate it. I never wear a red lip.
Another way to practice is to put on makeup just before a shower. There is no pressure to get it right because you are literally about to wash it off.
When something clicks, take notes and pictures. It might seem silly, but you’ll probably forget what you did within minutes and all that hard work deserves remembering.
And so…
Whatever style you desire, do not be afraid to step into your greatness this year. If you love a red lip, wear it. It’s always appropriate. If you feel self-conscious at first, start with a sheer red gloss or stain. I find so many women who never feel good about themselves because of what those who don’t matter think - or worse, the perception of what others might think.
DO NOT SHRINK. You are worthy of letting your beautiful face shine. -JY