As a fake baker since age 15, I’ve run the gamut of products and mishaps. While I haven’t tried them all, I’ve tried and failed enough to steer you towards glowing success.

Faux Tans I’ve Tried

Vita Liberata pHenomenal 2-3 Week Tan Lotion

For years I thought I found my holy grail with this. Then they went through a re-brand and reformulated the product and I turned green.

When I looked at the website, this product is currently discounted – which means it’s either being discontinued or reformulated or re-branded or something. The beauty industry is so fickle, but it’s also enormous so I moved on.

This brand does, however, have a truly phenomenal product worth mentioning – the Body Blur.

It’s instant, it’s waterproof, and even if you’re really sweaty it only rubs off a little. Definitely worth it.

Clarins Self Tanning Milky-Lotion

This was my first faux tan product and I used it faithfully for ten years. It was one of the first on the market and introduced to me by one of my dance teachers who was also a modeling coach. While this is a good product, technology has advanced where I can just get better products.

Basically, I wanted something darker, less stinky, and a little more brown versus bronze. But it is a wonderful product and has lasted in the Clarins line for this long, so it is definitely worth mentioning.

St. Tropez Tanning Essentials Self Tan Classic Bronzing Mousse

I wouldn’t feel right about a faux tan post without speaking to this brand. It’s highly recommended by so many people I trust, so I had to try it.

No bueno.

While this is a mousse, it was more of a liquid. No big deal, but it was slightly difficult to blend. I applied this at night so I expected to wake up a golden goddess, but I barely saw any color. Also, my arms were darker than my legs.

Later I tried this using double the amount on my arms and quadruple on legs, but the color was still unbalanced. It left me ultra stinky, and, the final blow, it streaked two days after application while on a run.

The one good thing is that I only purchased a trial size (which was still overpriced), but hard pass.

Loving Tan 2 Hour Express Mousse and Deluxe Bronzing Mousse

By far my favorite color. Absolutely gorgeous. But the price tag, the smell, and, worst, the way it turns your skin to scales as it fades away makes these hyped products a bust.

Their application mitt, though, is amazing, and you can find it on Amazon.

Sephora Tinted Self-Tanning Bronzing Mist

This is just okay, but it does the trick in a pinch. The application process is easy – just spray and rub in with a mitt. It does have a *smell* if you get it in your pits, and it’s more orange than I’d prefer, but this is the only other self-tanner I keep on hand.

The Faux Tan Winners

For Face – Isle of Paradise Self Tanning Drops

Mix a few drops with your moisturizer and you have a goooorgeous glow that lasts 4-5 days depending on how often you exfoliate. I also love that it greatly reduces the need for makeup:

For Body – James Read Fool Proof Bronzing Mousse Face & Body

Great price. Great color. No stink. Fades into nothing. Truly fool-proof. Sold?

The only issue is I would prefer it to be a little darker, but you can either layer up or add some of the Vita Liberata Body Blur where needed (usually just the legs on day three).

*UPDATE*

i popped by my local Sephora (which just opened and I’m already best friends with the nice nice people there) and grabbed a new product - the Isle of Paradise Glow Clear, Color Correcting Self-Tanning Mouse.

Initially I was nervous of the clear formula because you can’t see where it’s going, but the sweet folks at Isle of Paradise ensured me it was to keep the color from rubbing on clothes/sheets. Even as a fake bake veteran, I still had a few streaks so I don’t recommend this newbies.

The next day, I was orange. Like Oompa Loompa orange. BUT THEN…the next day (Sunday) I was a bronzed goddess. And I still am and it’s Wednesday - which means it has a great fade, too (aka not scale-y). Also, this had no stink!

I went back to Sephora to see if I missed anything/why I turned orange…and duh, this is a COLOR CORRECTING formula. I got “dark” because I thought that was the darkest formula, but it’s because it’s for darker-toned skin. I should have purchased “medium” because I have medium-toned skin. It works with your skin and makes it darker as opposed to the product just being a certain color - genius. I’ll try to exchange for the medium, but either way this is a great product.

Faux Tan Application Tips

-          Shave then exfoliate – you can use sugar from your pantry or purchase a scrub; I prefer ones that leave a little hydration like a coconut oil-based scrub

-          Apply body lotion on feet and ankles, elbows, knees, and anywhere you’re not applying faux tan

-          Be dry! Make sure your skin is completely dry and your lotion has soaked in

-          Apply with a mitt – there are several on the market but my favorite are the velvet-y kind like Loving Tan’s

-          Let the product dry completely before putting on clothes and make sure you don’t do anything sweaty or get your skin wet for at least two hours

-          Apply a setting powder – to “set” the tan just like your makeup, apply some arrowroot power, corn starch or baby powder with a large, fluffy brush

And so…

If you can’t make it to the beach, fake it. There’s no shame, and it really does make you feel more alive. Happy glowing! -JY

Originally published 22 January 2020