I’m fully aware of how hard the holidays can be for so many. And even if I’m in a funk, a splash of red, green and twinkle lights usually gets me out of it.

Not this year.

I’m also acutely aware of how short life is, so I’ve made the decision to not let the overwhelm take away from the season. Like The Christmas Song says, we have to LET out hearts be light. I’m in control of letting go of a heavy heart (or not), it’s not going to just happen.

When it all seems too much, I’ve created some relatable re-routing practices to get back on track. And honestly, it might not last long until the next gloomy thing pops up or negative thought surfaces. Thankfully, I can say that it gets easier the more you do it, so here we go. I’m sharing tips from quickest to most involved, so you’ll find something that works in every situation.

GET A TRIGGER WORD

When I realize that we don’t have orders for our next duty station yet and it’s December and we need orders for January and is the Navy going to move us? I mean I think we’re staying here but anything can happen until… aaaaand we spiral. (Getting really transparent here, y’all).

Once I notice I’m letting my thoughts get out of control, I simply say, “hope,” and take a deep breath or two. It’s quick and effective in the moment when you need to rein it in. Find a word that settles you, and go to it whenever you need a metaphorical fire extinguisher.

GRATITUDE

If I have a little more time to focus, thinking through or writing down a list of things I’m grateful for works every time. Although I’ve learned it’s possible to be simultaneously blessed and stressed, realizing my life is pretty damn amazing helps to put problems into perspective and hold messy thoughts at bay.

JOURNAL

This is so incredibly important for a few reasons. Something about physically writing down your thoughts and seeing them on paper really does sort them out while allowing some distance between those thoughts and potential action. Also, you know how you just really want to get something off your chest and just tell everyone and then you’ll feel better? But then you post it or talk about it and realize maybe you don’t actually feel that way and wish you could take it back? Journaling is totally private, so you can really let it all out even if you regret it later.

FIND YOURSELF

A while ago I wrote about when Marilyn Monroe turned on “her.” So I did a spray tan, spent some time on my hair, of course did my favorite makeup, and put on an outfit that made me feel sexy. So even though I might not feel great, I look (to me, anyway) amazing and confident and can catch myself in the mirror like “Heeeeeeeeeeeeey!”

I wholeheartedly subscribe to “look good, feel good.” And maybe for you it has nothing to do with how you look - maybe it’s a special perfume or piece of jewelry, going for a long run or cooking a delicious meal. Whatever it is, turn it on and relish in the good feelings. Then, and this is important, “bottle” those feelings in your mind like a snapshot and carry them with you whenever you need a boost.

Whatever you might be going through, good or bad, just know that I’m so thankful you’re here and you’re a part of this growing community. You’ve made my life better, and you matter. I really do appreciate you. Mean it. -JY