Happy Inauguration Day! Growing up in Martinsburg, WV, just a 90 minute drive outside of Washington, DC, I’ve always loved the pomp and circumstance of this day. I love the history and traditions. And I love this country and the Constitutions upon which she was founded, along with the peaceful transfer of power from one leader to the next.
That said, this year was unsettling to say the least. Seeing everyone socially distanced and masked would have been enough, but the unprecedented (at least in my lifetime) turmoil surrounding this election cycle has left even the most stoic political buff at a loss for words.
Um…Jessica…why are we discussing politics on a beauty blog?
Stay with me! Sadly, politics has become far more tumultuous than it needs to be. I remember a few years ago being in a taxi in California and having a lovely discussion with the driver about politics…just to discuss. Out of interest. Wanting to know how things were on the East Coast versus the West Coast. It was peaceful.
And what so many people are looking for when they come to me wanting to look a certain way is, in fact, a beautiful countenance. And you can only get that if your soul is at peace.
SO we’re drawing a parallel between this historic day - which is shrouded in unrest - and how to keep your peace no matter what. Because that’s true beauty.
How to Keep the Peace
You know that stress shows up on your face. You have seen “beautiful” people who, after seeing how poorly they treat others, become so ugly. The way you fight against that is to maintain YOUR peace.
In other words, my peace is not determined by who is in the White House. I feel the exact same way I did four years ago today. My peace isn’t determined by the weather, or really anything outside of me.
In fact, my bible verse for this year (politics AND religion?! uh oh… :) ) starts, “But none of these things move me.” This isn’t to say that I’m not bothered by anything, that things don’t make me angry, or that I’m okay with how things are. It means that in spite of it all, I’m still okay.
I can’t tell you what will work for you, but here’s what works for me:
Look at perceived versus actual reality: our brains spin up all sorts of things, but by looking around at what’s actually happening, things tend to be far less awful than we think
Find your anchor: my faith, my husband, and my gut consistently keep me in check - find what helps you cut through the noise and grounds you
Remember your successes: I’m always worried about being behind, but when I stop to take stock of my life and the choices I’ve made, I realize everything has been on time; analyze your triggers and debunk the lies they tell you
You’re Not Out of Control
Again, I’m team captain of the Constant Worrywarts. Please don’t think I’m some meditating guru who can show you the way to enlightenment.
But I will share with you something my undergrad social psychology professor shared us (and it’s backed by lots of science) that changed my whole perspective:
You have control of your brain’s remote.
So it’s obsolete tech with voice controls and such, but imagine you’re sitting on your couch scrolling through TV channels. You can’t control what show pops up, but you do have the power to change the channel.
Another way to put it - you’re scrolling your Instagram or Twitter feed. You don’t have the power to control what image comes next, but you do have the ability to mute/unfollow/block that account.
So while it might feel like your peace is being stolen from you by outside forces, you actually have the power to cut off those channels.
Of course, this world is not one of perpetual puppies and rainbows (although I wish it were), and, sadly, there will always be ebb and flow of good and bad times. That’s humanity. And we absolutely should push ourselves out of our comfort zones, have compassion for those we hate, and see things from opposing viewpoints.
But if something is constantly causing you turmoil, it’s okay to step away. For example, I really want to buy some land and build a house. So much it hurts. I want it like I hear women describing their desire to be mothers. And I’ve had to unfollow some Instagram accounts of people who are building homes. We can’t just settle down right now because my husband’s in the Navy and we don’t know where we’ll live as of summer 2022. And it sucks. But this is the life we chose, and are so thankful for it, so we accept the good with the bad. However, there’s no point in torturing myself.
So change the channel.
Stand for Something - and Know Why
I take great peace in knowing why I make the decisions I do - good or bad. You learn so much from every experience if you’re wiling to learn, especially when it’s tough. The key is to OWN those decisions. Have confidence in your WHY, don’t just blindly follow something because you think it sounds good.
Colin Powell said, “Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.” Sadly, there are too many people who offer half-hearted apologies for their misdeeds only after they are caught. That must really weigh on them and steal their peace.
Instead, as much as it makes me want to puke, I’ve learned to own my mistakes. Bad people will malign you for them, but most will respect you. And many will trust you, going forward, to know that you mean what you say.
Peace in the Dark
If you’ve ever read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Fankl, you know that there’s plenty of light in the darkness. If you haven’t, please at least look it up. If he can find meaning. purpose and peace in a concentration camp, so can we.
We just have to grab it. And think how much money we’ll save on Botox. :)